You Know there are Rules to Eating Out

This weekend started off a bit bumpy, but ended up sorting itself out as it usually does.

This story strikes me because it calls to question so many different things about people.

Some people move through the world trying to get something for free. They can’t help it, It’s in their fundamental character. Here are a couple of examples of what I am talking about:

We have all seen people comb the aisles of Costco who bring their friends and family and hit all the tasting stands to get a free meal. It never really matters what it is as long as it’s free. So they will have some kind of yogurt drink and a chicken sausage, a dried blueberry, a cracker and a hot chocolate.

How about friends who have a closet full of odd clothes because they got it “for free” or someone gave it to them and instead of turning it down graciously since it’s not their style or they don’t like it, they accept it and then never wear it.

Or there are people who will buy something just to get the rebate or the coupon. These are the folks that don’t care what it is it’s just a sport or a game to them.

I myself am all about the 2 for one or buy one get one free, but this is when I am at Safeway which is something we all are used to seeing. I am not looking for it at Whole Foods, because it’s not one of their marketing strategies. It’s kind of like there’s a time and a place to be price savvy and driven and then there’s the time to relax and just shop for what you need or like.

Having said all of this here’s the latest:

A woman came in with friends and ordered a series of oysters and clams on the half shell, some wine, some chowder and a crab cake. All of these items are cold and the soup is ready in a hot pot all day long to go out immediately. The crab cake on the other hand needs to cook, so it takes a bit longer. The table got all of their food with the exception of the crab cake which came 10 minutes later. The woman got very upset and said it took too long. So as a gesture, we didn’t charge her for the crab cake. Without the crab cake the bill came to appx. $68.00. She looked at the bill and wanted more taken off because she repeated that the crab cake took too long! We said we felt that 10 minutes was reasonable to cook it, we already took it off the bill and truly this was asking too much. Please, take care and have a good day.

Here’s the oddest part, remember when I said to some people getting something for free is just a game. One would think that after she appeared so upset, she wouldn’t tip……. well, she did, she actually even tipped.

I don’t understand why, if you were so upset, why you would tip at all. If I was at the table, I would be embarrassed and I can say, I don’t think I would go out to eat for a while with that individual. Oh my gosh, here’s my other pet peeve when I go out to eat with people or if I am the server who has to split this all up.

New story……………….

When folks go out to eat, why can’t people do their own math and simply divide a check into 6 and pay for the bill. Quite frequently we get people saying “we want separate checks” so each time you come to the table, you need to add the next item on the proper person’s bill. Trust me, it’s always on a table of like 5 or 6 people or more. What is that?

Why can’t people get the bill and just divide it by the number of people and pay it. Why do people have to nit pick over which person had the Mimosa vs. the glass of Vin Gris? 99% of the time, if we don’t split it up individually into separate checks the price difference is typically 1 or 2 dollars tops. Can’t people just get that when you are in a large group of people, it’s not the time to work your server over or work over your guests to try and divide everything up exactly down to yes, you’ve guessed it, who had 3 pieces of bread not 5 pieces of bread. Who had a 5.00 dessert vs. a 7.00 dessert. It’s just so tacky! I am pretty sure when they developed the saying “we are going Dutch treat” the term referred to 2 people not 5 or 6 or more. Good Lord! To top it off you don’t necessarily know if you are sitting at a table with these kind of people or not until the end of the meal when some says….. Um, excuse me, “Sorry, can we please have separate checks?” That’s when I’m like wait, I wasn’t keeping track of how many bites of so and so and so’s dessert I took or how many glasses of wine I had.

I do have a personal story about this. One night many years ago, I went for a lovely holiday dinner with two alcoholics one of which had a double addiction to food and all of us knew each other because we were all working on our addiction to spending money. We went to Zuni as a celebratory special dinner. I love! Zuni. So when I go, I always have a lot of cocktails and a lot of food because it’s so yummy. So the conversation went something like this to my best recollection:

“Isn’t this nice to finally have time to visit and during the Holidays? What a lovely idea.”

“What are you going to have to drink? Oh, I’ll just have water, I don’t drink.”

“Yeah, I um I’ll just have water as well. I don’t drink either.”

“Ok, well, I’m going to have a Bloody Mary.”

The drink comes………

“So, what looks good to eat to you two?”

“Um, well I can’t have anything with gluten.”

“I can’t have anything with sugar.”

“I can’t have anything with carbs.”

“I don’t eat meat.”

“I don’t eat chicken.”

“Actually, I am really trying to focus on being vegan.”

I’m thinking to myself, oh God, this is going to be some night! I want the anchovies appetizer, then the Caesar salad, then the roasted chicken, then the flourless chocolate cake and by the way if anyone will share, I’d love to have some oysters as well to start. Then, with each of those, I think I will have a glass of Riesling with my anchovies, a nice buttery Chardonnay with my Chicken and glorious Sauterne with my chocolate cake.

They looked at me like I had four heads and 6 arms….. I swear it.

Let’s just say that I don’t know what the heck they ate. I am sure that it was like a Caesar salad with no dressing, croutons or cheese and 6 oysters. ……By the end of the meal, when “the separate checks were requested,” I want to get out of there so fast! I might as well of dined alone with a fantastic book it would have been way more fun! Oh and by the way, our conversation was all about how maybe I have some issues with drinking and over eating. I’ll tell you more about that another time……..I’m telling you, I have never had a bad time at Zuni, but this one, Lord I barely escaped with my left over chicken alive!

So here are my rules when eating out with friends:

Go out with people who can afford to go out to the restaurant you choose. Don’t bring your friends to Quince if they can only afford McDonalds it’s going to be uncomfortable.

Go to places where there will be something to eat for everyone: Don’t go to House of Prime Rib with some vegans or vegetarians, they are going to flip out and the salmon is going to suck!

Narrow down what your friends like to do, if your friends don’t drink, then Absinthe is probably not a great choice of restaurant.

If you eat everything, let the friends with the most special needs choose the restaurant so that you don’t get the blame should they not be able to find something to eat.

Lastly, don’t try to convince your non foodie friends of your foodie ways, they just won’t get it. If every time you want to visit a friend and they suggest a hike and you would rather have a lovely dinner, maybe go on a walk and through a power bar in your back pack, because trust me, dinner will not be fun!

Watch out Low Flying Ducks!

Some days, we end up being some kind of wharped dumping ground for people who have had a bad day or simply woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I have to say, that until I worked here, I never knew how many odd ducks are wondering the streets of San Francisco.

I have to believe this is not exclusive to our town, I’m sure even in well, Omaha, yea, yea Omaha, they even have their fare share of odd ducks….

So, with that, here’s an odd duck story. By the way, I swear, I don’t make this stuff up:

A patron ordered a Crab Sandwich. The Sandwich arrived and she said that’s not what I ordered….. The server said you said you wanted a Crab Sandwich….

I do, but I want a Crab Sandwich with cheese.

Oh… So you want a Crabmelt (She shows her the menu).

Yes she says.

The Crabmelt arrives. I want it open face…..

The Server says, Ok…. you want it open face.

Yes, I want it open face.

So our Manager overheard the conversation:
Would you like me to remove the top for you?

She said no…. I don’t want it anymore.

Our Manager said, Alrightly then.

So she just gave her the bill.

Seriously, how can a sandwich get soooooo complicated!

That’s it, I’m moving!

I think I may have to move out of California since people’s senses of humor have just gone and left!

We wanted to get more feedback from folks who have visited the restaurant after they ate. So we came up with a short and sweet comment card. Now who doesn’t hate a comment card, but honestly it’s been really helpful, and important for us to review.

When we developed the comment card, we wanted to at least make it sort of cute and funny to encourage people to fill it out.

Here are the multiple answer questions we asked.

Was your server pleasant and helpful in describing the menu?
Very Helpful Sort of Helpful Not Helpful at All

Was your server pleasant and helpful in describing the wine list?
Very Helpful Sort of Helpful Not Helpful at All

Was the service timely?
Very Fast Ok I was starving by the time it came

How did you enjoy the food?
Super Yummy It was alright definitely not my favorite

Did the fact that we have heated outdoor seating play a part in
why you chose to dine with us? (circle one of the options below)
Very Important Somewhat important Unimportant

How likely are you to return to our restaurant?
Very Likely Possibly Unlikely

A few weeks ago we got a comment card back that said the patron was totally offended by the language we used when we said “I was starving by the time it came.” He said he
doesn’t believe this generation has faced starvation in their lives. He went on to say I have been there..... and starvation is not a funny subject and I am offended by statement.

My Manager came to me and mentioned the comment and we both were quite taken back to say the least. I just don’t know what has happened to everyone’s sense of humor. Are we really truly becoming a society of people that can’t take a light hearted approach to life. Life is serious as it is, but when a comment card becomes offensive I think we need to take a deep breath and relax. RELAX……………RELAX…………..RELAX……..

Are we really talking about the 50 cent bread charge again? Seriously?

From 07/13/09

Just when you thought it was safe to poke your head out and see what Yelpers are saying, BLAM, another odd comment I’ve got to address.

Here’s what the Yelper said:


Get ready for shockingly small $16 portions.

$5 for a cup of chowda. $0.50 for a piece of bread?

I don't get it.A little too gimmicky.

I know the rent there must be outrageous, so I understand.

In these hard times, it's tough sell.


Here are my thoughts: $5.00 for a cup of chowder is pretty reasonable for a daily soup with fresh clams in it. Have you been to a movie lately sir, you can barely get a soda for $5.00 which comes out of soda machine, no one made it!

Ah yes, fish is expensive and I have honestly not heard anyone ever complain about our portion size. I was trying to figure out what this gentleman had for $16.00, but alas, I can’t. I feel as though our portion sizes are appropriate for the average eater, but maybe he should have had a crab melt or something heavier. His comments seem to be driven primarily by portion and price. Anyone who has been to the Ferry Building knows, that’s not the scene at the Ferry Building.You have to pay $10.00 for two fish tacos and a drink at Mejita. That’s not a mission price, it’s a quality price.

Who lives in San Francisco and hasn’t heard of the City’s healthcare initiative? Even my beloved Zuni finally started charging 4% of the overall bill to cover healthcare. Our restaurant charges for bread which I am sooooo tired of talking about, which is the least expensive approach to assist the restaurant in covering this overhead. Plus…… it’s a choice to eat bread not a flat rate like most restaurants attached to your bill. My kind Sir, healthcare is not a gimmick and neither is our 50 cent charge for it.

Having said all that I shall move on from my rant with the following closing thoughts, before you write a review of a restaurant, identify what you look for in a great dining experience before you take cheap shots like complaining about bread being 50 cents. Just say, when I ate at “blank” I went in looking for a cheap quick meal…… Or, when I ate at “blank” I went in looking for some really great clean fish with good flavors…..

No one owns a restaurant and doesn’t care about the product they put out and yet, we are a business and we need to tow the line between the product and the price every day.

Think before you write a review, think about the surroundings, the kind of people, that go there, the type of food you are looking and the staff that serves you. From there, take time to write an accurate, thoughtful review.

Thank you Yelpers. As usual, whether I am either pleased, or frustrated I am provoked to respond and think about what you all have to say.